The First day of my life.

I need coffee. My mind is spewing random, unneeded information through my mouth. My eyes feel as if someone has attached paper clips holding five pound weights to each eyelid. Ouch. I struggled to keep them open as I drove down an almost abandoned, wet, asphalt filled road. Starbucks loomed ahead. I cannot stoop to that level, I thought to myself. Starbucks? Oh the gore. But I must... Wait. There, there in the distance, is it?... Yes, it's a dark little coffee shop, artsy to the max, locally owned, locally run. What luck! As if I really care. Come to me poor little locally owned coffee heaven. I'm almost dead now. My heart cries for caffeine in every wrenching, blood filled pump. I might die here on the side of this empty, dark road. I might have a heart attack, not from too much caffeine as the doctor's might assume, but from too little. You've never heard that one before have you? "Yes, she died from having absolutely no caffeine in her body. What a shame, she was almost to the coffee shop." Too bad, maybe I could use that excuse to get out of class or something. "Um, yeah I need to leave class early or else I might die because I havn't had any caffeine today." America is well on it's way to becomng just that. That's when teachers will start supplying caffeine injected gum to students who need a fix. Anyways, back to my dilema, my endless journey to the place where I could find many portals that would lead me to black steaming cups of coffee. Almost there now. Ugh, no parking lot. What kind of coffee shop has no parking lot? I'm fuming now, what if I die here, what if I develop ulcers from your incompetant lack of parking spaces? If you can sue people in heaven, I'll be looking you up in God's Goldly pages you savage, you parking spaceless locally owned coffee shop owner. I parked across the street. Slamming my door I stomped across the puddle filled gravel. I tripped on the sidewalk. Did I just almost die? Oh my gosh, I need to get in there now. It seemed to take eternity for me to make it to the door. Posters covered every inch of the glass. "Come see Tickle Me Pink here. LIVE!". Yeah right. Like I would come see a band called Tickle Me Pink. Horrendous, I would never be able to live up to a decent social rank again. I would be doomed forever in the depths of tickle my pinkness. Ugh! I almost tripped again as I dragged my weak body into the shop. Ahhhh the smell of coffee engulfing my senses. I'd like to call it a spiritual high, because that's about how I feel right now, but I can't. I approached the the counter. Coffee, I say, I just need some coffee. $2.06. Rediculous! $2.06 for a cup of coffee? Fine, I'm on my deathbed, I can't believe it costs this much just to keep alive, especially in my desperate state. There's no pity here. Maybe I should've gone to Starbucks, maybe they would've give me a free Vinti Latte with a peppermint. I take my darkly decorated empty cup and stalk over to the portals of coffee. "Free Refills". Never mind, I'll pay $2.06, I love you locally owned, parking spaceless coffee shop owner. I would bow at your feet if you were here. Seriously. Black coffee. Thats how I take it. Black Black Black. Except this time, I got Caramel truffle laced coffee. The "coffee of the day". It was spectacular as I took my first sip. My heart began to pump in normalness. My eyelids began to shed a few of those five pound weights. I took a seat in one of the overstuffed red, plush chairs. For the first time, I glanced around the coffee shop, taking in every detail. It was good. Dark, with gold wallpaper and red furniture. Black lights ran around the edge of the bar. There was a huge mural over the entire ceiling. It looked like space with random beautiful, alien looking creatures swimming about in the stars. The art hanging on the walls was pretty much awesome. The owner must have been obcessed with mirrors because they were everywhere. There was a small stage for bands to play every friday night. Tuesday night for not-so-popular bands. Bands like Tickle Me Pink. The only other person was a... a... Actually, I don't even know if that is a person. What is that thing? A human I suppose. It has arms and legs. It has a face. Yes, it's a human, a male human. I was enthralled with this human thingy and I stared at it. It stared right back at me. His clothes were... Strange... He wore a huge frilly, billowing, pillow like thing over the top of his body. It was purple. The bottom of his body was covered with a bright red sunflower skirt. A skirt? Wait, it must be a female? Maybe? It's shoes were striped yellow and green rain boots. It's hair was twisted into long braids that swooped around to the back of it's head. Yes, it was a female. Her head looked like Hilda with those rediculous braids. I was still staring at her, awe stricken at her complete weirdness. She still stared back at me. How do you tell a complete stranger that they look utterly absurd? How do you tell them in an innocent manner that one should never go into public looking so... Like this. She wasn't one of those really cool girls that had great style and could pull off even the most unmatching, unstylish pieces of clothing and make it look like the next great fashion. This wasn't even close, her clothing taste was completely pooped on, hopeless. I felt sorry for her. I can't even match worth a crap myself, but I know for a fact that I'm not the only person gagging at her appearance. Her nose stuck out like a sore thumb and it did a little loopy curl back towards her mouth at the end. Like you'd see on a witch cartoon. Her fingernails were exceptionally long and had dirt underneath them. Her teeth were impossibly straight and white, but you had to look extra hard to see this fine detail because she didn't smile much. In fact, I don't think she was capable of smiling with that cold glare of hers. She was still staring at me. How dare she! It's so rude to stare at a person for this long. But I was still staring at her so I have nothing to say. She moved her arm. She took a sip of her coffee. Wow, it was like watching an alien. I sat back in my red plush chair, wishing I'd brought some popcorn with me to watch this mystical being. Her eyebrows were huge! They looked like black fuzzy caterpillers glued above her eyes. She was wearing blue lipstick, too much face tanner, and hunter green eyeshadow. Her nails were red with black tips. She had a scar on the right side of her chin. A round tattoo with some odd looking words inside peaked out from beneath her sleeve. She was still staring at me. I was beginning to feel a slight bit uncomfortable so I stood quickly to put some sugar in my coffee. She rose as well. What's she doing? I stared at her. She looked absolutely rediculous, I had to say something to her about it. I didn't know what I'd tell her, but I started by taking a few steps toward her. Just my luck, her eyes never leaving mine she took a few steps toward me as well. We closed the gap between each other and we just stood there. Staring. "What's up" I say. She just stared at me. Might as well just jump right in. "You know, I was just... I think... Uhhh..." I stuttered looking around sheepishly. She stared at me. "Hey, weirdo". We both looked toward the unsuspecting sound of the barista's voice. She looked at us in a disapproving frown. "Listen, we're closing up so why don't you quit talking to yourself and get out." My gosh. Unbelievable. The nerve. "Me?" I pointed to myself. Barista butt rolls her eyes and sighs. "Yeah, the only other damn person in here.".....Wait. What? Only... I looked at the weird-monstrosity in front of me. Talking to myself? Only other person? No... It couldn't be... I looked deep into her eyes. I winked. She winked. I smiled, she smiled. I frowned, she frowned. Only then did I realize that she was me. I was that obscene creature standing there looking like an idiot in my huge purple frilly potato sack. That was the first time I really looked at myself. The first time I told myself how rediculous I looked. The first time I realized that my life was a living hell, and my appearance well reflected it. That was the first day of my life.